


Mikasa Hating Levi For One Fanfic Straight

by sansasputa



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:00:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21931096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansasputa/pseuds/sansasputa
Summary: Perhaps when they return she is only imagining how Levi does not collapse until he finds the commander and that's when he allows himself to fall, the taller man of course holds him in return.He is just in pain, Mikasa, don't be stupid.But perhaps the way Erwin drags his fingers across the pale face is way too gentle for such a deadly situation.And perhaps the way Levi mutters his name in a torn voice when he finds him is loaded with too many emotions.She hates herself for thinking about it at a time like this, but she can't help it.In which Mikasa overthinks.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 4
Kudos: 78





	Mikasa Hating Levi For One Fanfic Straight

**Author's Note:**

> "sansasputa don't!"  
> "ackerbond get behind me!"  
> "But sansasputa..." *gunshot* "sansasputa!"

“Ackerman,”

The captain's raspy voice forced her to turn around as the annoying noise of a door squeak would have, loud, annoying and impossible to ignore. Trying not to complain, Mikasa forced herself to lower her head, thus finding herself face to face with the small figure of her now superior.

“Is something wrong, Captain?” She asked, trying to stifle the disgust to the bottom of her throat, Levi seemed to find it amusing.

“I imagine I'm the last person you want to see.” The man guessed with an atypical smile that lacked humor.

_Yes._

“On the contrary,” She lied, finding his burdensome look with her eyes, meeting him with even more covert irony. “After all, you are the only person who knows anything about Eren's current whereabouts, I'm glad to find you in good conditions.”

Levi let out a condescending laugh. “That's touching, soldier.”

Soldier, the word sounds too strange coming from the man, the way he pronounces it causes as much disgust to her as his person, it springs from his lips almost like an insult, maybe Mikasa is looking too much into it, she knows, but she can't help feeling frustrated.

“But I can't tell you anything about my squad's situation, it's against the protocol, although I can assure you that if you and your... _friend_ are trying—”

Mikasa didn't stop to reflect on his words. “Sure, I imagined you were here to threaten me,” She interrupted. “If Eren and I were trying to do something, you and your commander would have been crushed the same day of the trial along with all your legion.”

She was fed up, since that day, the rumors ran like steeds, she had been called a titan, she had been called a traitor, Commander Pixis himself was unable to find her gaze when the whole situation was over, and although she didn't care — she wasn't going to care either — about whatever they thought of her, the fact that she was unable to object to her defense created a painful feeling of helplessness at the bottom of her stomach.

Levi fixed his almond shaped eyes in hers, with just that look, Mikasa realized that she had made a mistake.

“I was going to warn you that if you and your brother were planning to meet behind my back, that would put all the deal at risk, and therefore, his life...” The man replied, in his classic, monotonous voice, Mikasa felt the blood run to her face. “But it is a good threat, soldier, I think this time I will forget it, but of course, you shouldn't go around letting everyone else know... I think they wouldn't sympathize with it as much as I do.”

That last sentence made her turn as red as her scarf.

Yes. Maybe she was unreasonably upset, maybe Captain Levi for her just meant the symbol of the things that were going to start, the new cycle of events that she didn't want to accept that we're going to happen, for her, for Eren, for Armin, for Jean and for everyone else who had agreed to follow them, obviously under the influence that the last tragic battle in order to cover the hole in the wall brought, the simple memory made her dizzy.

She didn't find herself able to replicate a dignified response, and Levi didn't wait for her to do so either, without saying anything else, he turned and entered the barracks in which a squad leader with her hair in a ponytail and sweat soaking her shirt awaited at the door jumping from side to side, they were going to meet with the commander perhaps.

She couldn't think about anything else throughout the whole day until later that night when she reached her bunk and felt the sheets hitting her face.

_Fucking midget._

←↑↓→

The next three times Levi pays a visit to the barracks, Mikasa makes sure to watch him carefully.

The first time is only one day after their discussion, he meets again with the commander and the squad leaders that Mikasa learns to identify as Hange Zoe and man with a prominent beard, who she learns to identify as Mike, another soldier from high prestige for his skills outside the walls.

Mikasa watches the Captain leave and enter from afar, but does not attempt to spy on the meeting, nor seek a rematch for her shameful defeat — that, would come later — instead, Mikasa sits at the dinner table with the rest of her group, who also seems to discuss the case.

“Do you think the excursion plan is ready?” Armin asks upon watching the arrival of the man.

“I hope so,” Sasha replied, looking strangely at her tray of food. “I don't think I can tolerate another one of these... They say that the garrisons they share in the missions taste better.”

“It's most likely, but I don't see why they have to do it so soon...” Jean meditated. “What do you think they are doing with Eren?”

Mikasa forced her mind not to pay attention to the question, she had already rambled about Eren's situation for two nights in a row and felt the need to prioritize the other thought that was starting to boil her blood.

“What do you think of Captain Levi?” She interrupted carelessly, even Connie and Sasha were forced to shut up.

A tense silence ran across the table until the little blond was forced to discern from the topic.

“Mikasa!” Armin gasped, “Why do you want us to talk about that?”

“Finally, an interesting topic.” A deep, feminine voice cried as she approached the table, the group raised their heads to meet Ymir's tall and freckled figure chewing a piece of bread.

“Where did you get that?!” Sasha raised her voice, the taller one ignored her.

“I heard that you were talking about the Captain.” She laughed, dragging a hand to the nearest chair, taking a seat between Jean and Mikasa — which made him frustrated. “Have the rumors arrived yet?”

Mikasa raised her eyebrows. “Rumors?”

Armin gasped again. “Mikasa!”

“Yes, girl, rumors,” The freckled got closer, Mikasa wondered where the little blond girl that seemed to follow her everywhere was. “They talk a lot about that captain around here, his name always seems to appear in every conversation, whether or not he has a wife, if he has any children, where he is from and why he has such strange features... Strangely, he looks a little bit like you.”

If looks could kill, Ymir would have died in that instant. Mikasa grunted.

“Mikasa looks nothing like the captain!” Jean intervened; long time excluded from the talk.

Armin shushed at him.

Ymir laughed. “Calm down, I'm just fucking around. Are you going to hear what I have to say or not?”

“If your rumor is only a ridiculous comparison, then...”

“No, no, no,” She continues speaking, the pathetic smile drawn on her face still there. “It's better than that. If I have noticed something in these past few days, it is that every time they mention this guy, they always seem to bring the _other_ name of the man in charge.”

“Huh?” Sasha babbles, mouth full of bread from the bite that she stole from Ymir's night snack.

“What are you talking about?” Mikasa asked.

Everyone looked at Ymir and Ymir looked at everyone, she rolled her eyes at the obvious confusion on all the faces of the table, “Are you stupid?”

“Do you mind explaining?” Mikasa asked again, who did not appreciate being treated like a fool, much less by someone like her.

“Ugh... I'm talking about Erwin Smith.”

Mikasa's eyes widened and before she could articulate a coherent response, she was interrupted by another sharp scream.

“It's enough!” Armin repressed them, the boy looked too nervous, as if that had been the name of the devil himself and the commander were about to appear behind them, he held Mikasa's arm. “No... Don't talk about the commander like that, you're saying nonsense, this talk went too far, Mikasa let's go.”

But her friend didn't move, a strange idea came to her mind in a very clear way, she remembered the intimidating look of both men on the day of the trial and then, her talk with Levi that day. She must have looked like a fool.

Ymir threw back her intimidating jocular laugh that sounded like a bark, sticking her little amber eyes into the pair of gigantic blue ones. “You and your attitude full of false innocence... You remind me so much of Krista. You've heard them too, right?”

“Armin...” Mikasa watched the boy get paler even more. “Do you know what they say?”

The blond shook his head, a drop of sweat slid down his forehead, Mikasa began to have a clearer idea of what the rumors were about.

“Of course he knows! Look at his face.” Ymir intervened. “Why don't you tell your friend what they say?”

Mikasa thought again of the stabbing look of the captain, while another part of her tried to focus on the pair of blue eyes that belonged to the commander, such a mysterious and private man.

“Is anyone going to tell what they say or not?” Connie asked.

“Crap!” The blond exploded, “That's what they say, absolute slander rubbish...”

“Are they sleeping together?” Mikasa finished for him, everyone turned to see her.

There was silence for a couple of minutes... Jean was confused, Connie and Sasha looked at her as if she had lost her head, Armin opened his eyes wide and his cheeks turned red, meanwhile, Ymir seemed to have heard the best joke of the world, it was her laugh the one that cut the tension like a knife.

“They?!” She laughed holding her stomach, with tears threatening to spill, “Sleeping together?! Oh my god...”

“Mikasa... What are you talking about?” Armin questioned, his face an amalgam of all possible reds.

“Where did that idea come from?!” Jean yelled.

“You girls are so weird...” Connie muttered. “They can't see men being friendly without thinking...”

“Oh, God! Oh, Mikasa, I have to admit that since I met you, I thought you were boring, but... _Pffft._ ” Ymir continued to laugh, covering her mouth as her last resort to stop. “Sleeping together... Commander Smith and Captain Levi...”

Mikasa turned to see them stunned, somehow looking for some kind of support, it was there when she realized that she was the only one that had jumped to that conclusion.

“Wha—what did the rumors said?” She asked in a frail voice. “Armin...”

Armin stared at her. “That the commander recruited the Captain from the underground or something...”

Ymir snorted again.

Shame just began to dig inside Mikasa's body, who slowly felt herself turn as red as Armin. _What was I thinking?_

“Uhm...” She tried to find her voice in the back of her throat, feeling unable to say anything. “Please excuse me.”

She got up, Jean moved aside to give her a way out, she left without saying goodbye. She wandered the halls until she found the girls' barracks and lay down into her bunk, covering her face, trying to forget the embarrassing moment she had just experienced.

When the dining room began to empty and the soldiers withdrew to surrender to the solitude of the light dream full of fears. Sasha, Connie, Jean, and Armin kept arguing about the issue at the table, Ymir on the other hand, got bored and went to bother what seemed to be her shy friend with the angelic aura.

“What made her think that?” Jean babbled.

“In their defense, you guys were being too sinister about it.” Connie accepted. “I don't blame her for thinking something so radical, you were doing too much drama for something so simple...”

“Yes, I guess it was my fault,” Armin muttered, looking closely at the wiggle of fire over the candle. “Just... I didn't think the Captain actually came from a place like the underground, I guess it's not surprising to her, considering that she also comes from a... bad place.”

“What are you talking about?” Jean asked, raising both eyebrows.

Armin looked up, taciturn. “Nothing, I'm rambling... I just say my conclusions out loud; I don't think it was anything more than a clumsy misunderstanding.” He got up from his place, took his plate to the sink and with nothing else to say, he left.

Jean watched him walk until he reached the door. “What was that?”

“I don't know,” Connie replied. “These Shiganshina kids are weirder than I expected...”

He imitated Armin's steps and also withdrew.

Jean sat down to reflect with Sasha by his side, who was still devouring Mikasa's leftovers without paying much attention. The blond sighed with disdain. _The Survey Corps._ He added nothing more to that loose thought.

“It wouldn't be so bad,” Sasha said, looking at nothing, she seemed to have finished sucking her fingers full of pasty mash and was beginning to possess an odd reflexive look.

“What are you talking about now?”

“You know... the Captain and the Commander...” She explained, without looking at him. “I mean... Everyone knows that the commander is handsome, and the captain is not that bad himself...”

Jean stared at her for a second and blinked. It didn't take another second for him to get up and leave.

← ↑ ↓ →

Although Ymir never forgets the comment and makes a reference to it every time she has the opportunity, Mikasa gradually begins to do so.

The captain is strange, cruel and crude, and somehow he had managed to convince Eren not to doubt him or his team. Because when Mikasa sees him again and tells him that it is enough, Eren represses her and begs her to return to her squad.

Perhaps he imagines the Captain smiling at that just to feed her hatred, she never ruled out the possibility that he is the one who has been driving Eren away from her and that his intentions are only to exploit him to death.

“Mikasa, go back. This is not your squad. You are not complying with the deal.” Eren begs her.

And it hurts, it hurts too much, but she does it without objecting and so they say goodbye, even when they both have in mind that maybe it will be the last time they see each other if things go wrong.

Of course, there was going to be someone who wanted to take away Eren again, a titan, a _she_ this time. Of course, the commander had a plan and of course that the titan is captured, of course, she then escapes and Eren is at risk and it is now her duty to save him.

Of course, Mikasa's life is a constant disaster with more mistakes to the mix.

What she doesn't expect it's to see Levi join, _to help her, to help Eren._

And all the hate, all the helplessness, and disgust leave as soon as she hears the sound of the bone in the man's leg break. At least for a moment.

Perhaps when they return, she is only imagining how Levi does not collapse until he finds the commander and then he allows himself to fall, the taller man of course holds him and asks him questions. _He is just in pain, Mikasa, don't be stupid._

But perhaps the way Erwin drags his fingers across the pale face is too gentle for such a deadly situation.

And perhaps the way Levi mutters his name in a torn voice when he finds him is loaded with too many emotions.

She hates herself for thinking about it at a time like this, but this time she can't help it.


End file.
